He’s crying …. I’m crying …. Why is he crying so much … am I doing something wrong … I’m sure all new mums think like this right ? But he is constantly crying all the time and every hour … he jumps and jerks to every noise, the dog barks, his sister laughs , even if his dad shuts the door and it makes a noise , it’s everything he just cries and cries …. family say it is normal but the day he was born something didn’t feel quite right and his head was slightly turned looking away .
Every night felt like a marathon , I must of got around 2 hours sleep a night. His dad was in the spare room, he needed sleep to concentrate on the family business we were building … but I really think I needed more help at night, he offered but it was not going to work it seemed more complicated trying to get him involved in feeds when I was breast feeding. Every night was such a struggle, he hated feeding time and didn’t feed well and my little girl was confused on why he was always crying … that made me more upset seeing her not being able to bond in the way I thought she would bond with her brother. It just felt like all such a nightmare which I couldn’t wake up from and each day I felt like I was walking through treacle, even getting downstairs to make a cup of tea felt like such a mission. I really felt like all this crying my new little boy was doing was all my fault. What was wrong ….
1 year old
Our litte boy has reached a year old !! He even started to walk at 13 months and reached all his miles stones from sitting up, walking, eye contact, smiling, giggling, babbling …. We’ve reached a year ….but he still cries at so much …. I can’t get him out to any sing along groups, shops or even for myself to meet at mum groups for a coffee I would always have to leave early or just not show up because I felt like it disturbed other mummies and their little ones. Anywhere if there is crazy lighting or loud music was like walking into a concert for him and he couldn’t cope with it and nor could I anymore !
Our little shihtzu is passing ….
My first fur baby a little shihtzu, she was my absolute life we had 9 lovely years together and I still miss her so much … she was like a little guard dog for our boy, such a strong connection between them, she never left his side. But she was passing and we had to let her go to rainbow bridge … I will never forget the day I had to take her to the vets for one last attempt to save her, she went to the other side on her own and luckily no vets touched her with a needle .. that is when I actually felt broken into bits .. I had her before my husband or any of my children, she was my first fur baby. We still have our other little dog and she is 11 now ….. I don’t think you can ever be ready for losing a dog it’s the worst pain.
I’m still so tired
We have reached age 2
Our boy babbles and babbles ….He is not making eye contact with me , I spent one afternoon doing play doh and making silly shapes of animals, he didn’t find them funny or actually he didn’t acknowledge them, I called his name over and over again … he wouldn’t respond, he was switching off from me he didn’t notice me , was he deaf ? I would put on movies and he wouldn’t point at anything. I remember one part of a film, Frozen film, there is a part of when Elsa the princess is crying in the film and it’s a very sad part but he is laughing and giggling and I suddenly remember thinking that is odd and not right he didn’t understand the emotions of what was happening to the lady in the film.. this was when I thought I must get him seen by a paediatrician, doctor , any specialist help . Little did I know how god damn hard it would be to see a paediatrician in the uk .
Understanding Autism 